I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
