im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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