Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
