This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize