I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
