used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
