it wasn't lemon gatorade
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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