I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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