I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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