my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
