You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
