They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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