just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
