My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
