I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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