someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
