We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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