Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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