I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
