i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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