I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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