Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
