I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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