Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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