he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize