I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
