i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i barfeds in our rink
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
