WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
