I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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