What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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