Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
