Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
