Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
