We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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