Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
