everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
