Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize