Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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