Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
