he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
