you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
