So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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