a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
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