Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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