dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
