Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
