from now on my penis is your penis
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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