yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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