Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize