Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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