I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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