Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
