I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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