after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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