did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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