week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
