giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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