those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
