omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
