I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I FOUND THE LEGS
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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