My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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