He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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