if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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