I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
