duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
